Karžygės ir karvedžiai

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Ji sapnavo Jupiterį, jo karžyges ir riterius. 

Prabudus naktį ji juto, kaip prie jos lovos nepažįstami veidai alsavo. Jos kūno oda šiurpo nuo artumo nežemiškų būtybių, kurių akys žibėjo nakties tamsybėje. Ji jautėsi nuoga prieš į jos kambarį įsiveržusius karvedžius ir visai negelbėjo stora pūkų antklodė.

Ir kodėl ji jautėsi nuogo kūno prieš juos visus - nepažįstamus kareivius? Ir kaip jie pateko į kambarį, kurio duris ji pati užrakino iš vakaro? Kodėl tokia spengianti nakties tyla - tokia tyli, kad ji girdėjo, kaip panikuoja jos širdis krūtinėje po antklode.

Ji negalėjo judinti nei rankų, nei kojų, tik sukiojo sunkų kaklą, kad galėtų matyti, ką nekviestieji jos kambary daro. Jupiteris išdidus stovėjo, jo juodi šarvai net nakty spindėjo nuo keisto metalo, iš kurio išlydyti rūbai jų visų buvo. Už jo nugaros kone 67 jo palydovai stovėjo. Ne, netilpo visi į kambarį, bet jų buvimą ji savo kūno organais jautė. Gal net 200 jų ten buvo. Maišyto kraujo ir lyties, jie buvo Jupiterio karžygės ir karvedžiai. Jupiterį supo keisti žiedai, truputį spalvoti. Tikintys energijomis, sakytų, kad tai jo aura, ar kažkas kito, panašaus į šitą.

Didžiausi jo palydovai - Europa ir Ganimedas - labiausiai išsiskyrė iš visų juodųjų riterių. Jų akys žibėjo tokia pat spalva, kaip Jupiterio - ryškia violetine, kuria svaidėsi po kambarį, netardami nė žodžio. Ir vis dar taip tylu kambary, nors ir keli šimtai nepažįstamųjų susirinko. Ir ji, gulėdama po stora pūkų antklode, negalėjo nieko pasakyti, o ką jau kalbėti apie jų išvarymą iš jos kambario iš vidaus užrakinto. 

Kai praėjo ne viena tylos minutė, Jupiteris ryžtingai priėjo prie jos lovos. Jį ištikimai nusekė didžiausi jo palydovai. Kai ji jau galėjo užuosti tą keistą dangaus kvapą, sklindantį nuo jo šarvų juodo metalo, jis pasilenkė prie pat jos veido ir mergina pagaliau galėjo pamatyti ne tik Jupiterio akis, violetine spalva žybsinčias. Kol jis atidžiai nagrinėjo jos veido asimetriją, akių vokus ir lenktus antakius, ji nagrinėjo jo metalo skruostikaulius ir benosį veido ovalą. Taip buvo keista suvokti, kad jis, realiai, neturėjo veido, o tik juodą tuštumą, o jo akys - tarsi tolimos žvaigždės, matomos nuo žemės plutos. Smalsumas nugalėjo baimę ir panikos išikta širdis nurimo po apklotu. Dabar ji alsavo dangaus deguoniu ir nurimo, glostoma jo akių žiburio. 

Tik ji niekaip nesuprato, kodėl Jupiteris visą armiją pasikvietė į jos naktinį kambarį. Jos suparalyžiuotas kūnas niekaip negalėjo būti grėsmė jo šarvuotai apsaugai. Bet gal jų ir buvo toks tikslas - gausiu pasirodymu sutrikdyti jos miegą ir paversti ją bejėge savo nežemišku minčių srautu. Jei taip, tai jiems pasisekė ir jų atvykimas padarė įspūdį jos mintims ir kūnui. 

Jos smilkiniuose kraujas šoko intensyvų šokį, kai Jupiteris pakėlė savo ranką virš jos nejudančio kūno. Tamsoje rodėsi, kad jo rankos - tarsi kometų uodegos, pildančios svajotojų norus. Kol jo ranka tiesėsi virš jos kaktos, jo palydovai - vienas po kito - virto tolimaisiais žvaigždynais ir tarsi nebuvę, išnyko juodos nakties tamsybėj. Liko jie tryse - karžygė ir du karvedžiai, okupavę mirtingos sielos namus užrakintus. Ją vėl apleido ta panika ir baimė, tačiau priežastis šįkart buvo kitokia. Suvokus, kad jie išvyksta, jai norėjosi šaukti ir priversti juos dar pabūti, kad galėtų daugiau pasimėgauti visatos kūriniu. 

Norėjo ji patyrinėti juos - dangaus kūnus, kurie - tarsi nuotykių ieškotojai - keliavo po žemiškus nakties kambarius. 

Online v. Reality

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Online.

Photo of you, waking up in 'x' company bed linen #happy #newbedlinen 

Reality.

Actually, your own bed linen is drying up and as you have not had the spare one, you sneaked into flatmate's (who is currently travelling around the world) room and borrowed one of his. Hopefully he does not see this photo.

Online. 

Photo of your toes in messy expensive-looking bed linen, next to the toes - plate of exotic fruits and freshly made coffee #wokeuplikethis #luxury #chemexcoffee 

Reality. 

Actually, after taking this you just spilled all that coffee (which was simple Paulig coffee which you've even forgotten that you have) all over the bed. Usually you do not eat or drink in bed as it is not really comfortable to sleep in the bed of crumbs. Exotic fruits in the pic are the only edible items in the house you could find currently. While taking the photo you wear old pajamas with huge holes in the armpits. As legs are not shaved, only toes could be seen in the pic. 

Online. 

Photo of you in Bali (Thailand/Phillipines/Maldives etc) having colorful breakfast in the middle of jungles. In the pic you see plenty of food, including eggs, fresh fruits and juices, mimosas, coffee and other stuff. Locally made bracelets hanging there on your tanned wrist #balilife #happyinasia #lovemylife #nevercomingback

Reality. 

Actually, some food on your table belongs to the other 10 people sitting next to you. They were ok to help your picture look adorable enough. However, as after 50th-iest attempt they get h-angry. That day you got poisoned from all those exotic fruits and vomited for 2 days. You got that nice tan after several sleepless nights as your skin was burning inside out. The tan peeled off before coming back home. Bracelet on your wrist, actually, was made in china. You knew that only when at home and you paid for it more than for 2 nights in hotel. 

Online. 

Photo of you, raising a glass of fancy looking cocktail with the Dubai skyscrapers in the background #happylife #yolo #mynewhome #traveltheworld #luxury

Reality.

Actually you just visiting your friend who just happened to marry rich but not really nice guy. You fell a bit jealous but hiding it good. After 5 glasses of cocktails your friend takes out the bottle of vodka to finish the night. Then friend starts to open and complain how her marriage is miserable and her husband is never home and travelling around the world with his buddies and other chicks. Next morning you are both hangover and it is really hot out there, even the cold water dos not help. You simply wanna go home. You are sad for your friend and yourself.  

Online.

There is another pic of another exotic and far-away country you traveled to. It seems like it is the 6th country within 6 months #exploreasia #goodlife #lovetravelling #inspirational

Reality.

Actually, in order to travel you work in the job you dislike a lot at least 14 hours per day to save that bunch of money. You cannot quit as you need money for your rent. You cannot quit as you do not know where you could go next. You travel around in order to escape that job you have and work there in order to travel again. You travel on budget and when come back home you eat buckwheat you whole month. 

Online. 

Photo of nicely decorated table with deliciously looking salads and cake, some freshly squeezed juices #myboyfriendmadeit #healthyeating #delicious #lovemyboy

Reality.

Actually, salads were not really as good as you would think and the cake you bought yourself from mother Maxima. You ended up that relationship after 2 days. Deleted the hashtags. 

Online.

Photo of plate of full of healthy no-meat salads with some seeds and nuts, other plant-based stuff #veganforever #healthylifestyle #youarewhatyoueat

Reality.

Actually, this morning, after partying too hard you ended up in McDonald's where you order sandwiched with pork and beef and had some chicken nuggets as well. As you woke up hangover only at 8 pm, light salads was the only food you could look at without feeling sick. 

Online. 

Photo of you in the gym striking a pose in front of the mirror. It seems as you built up some nice booty and your stomach seems flat as well #gymeveryday #sixpack #workout #trainhard #gymismysecondhome

Reality.

Actually, by accident you got the free single entry in newly opened gym. As you had the party until the morning, you used your voucher for the shower before you heading home. You have not eaten for at least 30 hours thus your stomach is flat and you learnt from youtube how to make your booty look bigger in the pics. You go to the gym once in 5 years. 

Online. 

You instagram story shows some amazing changes in life: moving to new apartment, quitting old job and already starting the new one, every day taking home flowers from dates with (most likely) hot looking guys #lovemylife #newbeginnings #happyhappy 

Reality.

Actually, you had to move out as your landlord is selling the apartment and you could not find the new one for months and when finally found it, after one week you have to move again as your room is full of cockroaches. You were fired from the work you did not like and found another similar one cause you have to pay a rent. Your mom sends you flowers every day to cheer you up. You call her and cry. 

Universal obligations

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'Universe is under no obligation to make sense to any of us' - Neil DeGrasse Tyson

How many times you've heard yourself asking Why?

Is the statement 'It does not make sense' familiar to you? 

I believe you find yourself lost in these mainly hypothetical questions/sentences daily. 

When you cut your finger with the knife you just bought (oh well, at least some more meat on the apple). When you burn your tongue while trying carefully to sip that morning coffee. When you are 15 years old and you cry over the pillow because your beloved one left you after a 2 month romantic relationship. Maybe you even have had honor to ask Why? when your close family member passed away, your hamster just hanged himself without leaving explanation or your flower started to smell in a water your forgot to change. 

Well, at least the last one has a clear-cut explanation why it happened. 

Why you find yourself where you are. Why your Netflix show has been cancelled or returns only in ages (actually in half a year). Why, after spending 6 years studying economics you find yourself happiest... making coffee, sewing or making music, ... [insert yourself] but not in the bank giving loans to people who desperately need it?

And then you find yourself  at the doorstep of your best friend or relative, or teacher, or guru, or pet, or... who [after you threatening with bad things if does not give any explanation], gives you an answer to your Why? question, you react with 'It does not make any sense'. 

Should it make any sense, though? Any of it above and much more happening in everyone's daily lives? Trying to explain through the pain the reasons behind every day's failures and mistakes, successes and normal emotional ups and downs I find that wonderful sentence which wraps up all the struggles : 'Universe is under no obligation to make sense to any of us'. 

It just is. Like that, as such. And even the best scientists still cannot explain, what has been before the Big Bang and what the hell is the Dark Matter.