2018 m. rugpjūčio 19 d., sekmadienis

She used to live in a particular way

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She lived the life of a good girl. Then she stepped out of her parents' house and believed that could conquer the life. She had a vision in her mind about what next is coming to her life tomorrow or 10 years after. She set a plan of how to study and work, how much money to earn, spend and save. 

She always said that she has a good intuition and everything is going to be as she expects to be. But everything worked only when she safely studied in one big town in her home country. In the mornings she would wake up earlier than neighbours, would do 10 km running into the wild nature. Then she would have the same oats porridge with blueberries and honey, some banana and cinnamon on top of it. She would take a bag full of day's lunch and snacks. 

She would study har the thing she does not really get. But she would get great grades and teachers would love her. She would raise her hand into the air everytime teacher would be asking something. After seminars and lectures, she would step into the classroom where they would communicate with each other and bring new ideas into the atmosphere and someone would take lead and make an idea become a true deal. 

Then she would run into the gym class, sweat and move all over again and again. In her ears the same music would sound, to help concentrate on body muscles. She would not be the leanest girl, but always strong and active - as she wanted to be. 

After graduation, she knew that other studies are waiting for her. Another 2 years planned towards a successful future. She went to parties, met new people and started new romantic relationships. She would visit her parents once and awhile and argue with them about what she thinks she knows better. 

When 2 years passed of studying there and there, doing some internships abroad, as it has been planned, she would start digging into the jobs market and ads for the new beginnings. Little she knew then, how everything is going to turn around. 

She thought she was a strong and full of willpower woman. But she thought so only because no breathtaking situations came along her way. Because she never fell in love and broke up with someone else. She never had strong relationships thus did not have to cry if somebody would not write her back. She had both parents who would be strong and healthy and healthy sisters and brothers, who enjoyed their life accordingly. She would not go to the funeral to see how people cry over one's shoulder. She would pass all the exams and would be acceptable to every job she wanted. She had always money enough sent by parents in order to buy her favourite clothes. She was healthy and active, charismatic and moving. 

But then strange things started to happen. The morning she would wake up, no oats she would find in the cupboard. She would be later for the job interview and she would hear: 'not this time'. She would meet people who would scream at her as devils and nobody would pick up the phone when she would ring for the pickup car. She fell on the slippery floor and would burn her finger, she would hurt knee and would not go to the gym for two or more weeks. She would feel as in the cage of the disastrous happenings. 

And then she would wake up in front of a computer and her favourite place - a new job she got last month. She would understand that she does not want to be the same in the same surroundings. She wanna wake up and know for sure, what she has to do later. Not because successful people do that but because she wants to feel awakening and knowledge of herself in a middle of this strange life pattern. 

She started to read and relax, play with her thoughts and mind, listen to the heart and try to make decisions based on the feeling. 

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